Encouragement for NICU Moms This Mother's Day

Mother's Day is today, and I want to share with you a little encouragement while you're in the NICU with your little one that's fighting for their life. Motherhood is a beautiful gift from God.  To be able to look at your child and know that he/she are apart of you is such an amazing feeling.

My journey to motherhood was no cakewalk, as I encountered many challenges- a diagnosis of infertility followed by premature birth. My diagnosis of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) was given to me in my mid 20's.  It inhibits women from having regular, monthly periods and ovulating on their own.  After seeking the help of a fertility doctor (RE-Reproductive Endocrinologist) and two ectopic miscarriages later, I FINALLY conceived my little one via FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). I was so thrilled and ecstatic about this new life growing on the inside of me, yet fearful that I may miscarry or something terrible may happen again.  Then, my worst fear became my reality on December 5, 2012 when a normal doctor's appointment with my perinatologist (High-Risk OB) showed that I'd already dilated 1.5 centimeters, and had a bulging water bag due to an incompetent cervix.  I was immediately put on strict hospital bed rest to lie in the T-berg (Trendelenburg) position where the feet are higher than the head while you're lying on your back.  The goal was to make it to 28 weeks so that my son's lungs would be more developed and he'd have a better chance of survival .  However, almost 2 weeks later, 25 weeks, 5 days I gave birth to a micro-preemie.  I watched his really tiny body get poked and prodded, be resuscitated several times, fight for life, cry in pain, but his cries could only be seen, and not heard.  It was a very challenging time that I felt and knew was totally out of  my control, which was very difficult for me because I can be a bit  of a control freak.  But, I had to rely and depend totally on my faith in God to pull my son through, and I'm so forever grateful that He did just that...thank you God! My 25 weeker is now a funny, loving, silly, rambunctious 4-year-old that loves everything about Blaze and The Monster Machines, Lighting McQueen & Mater (from Disney Cars), and anything monster trucks related.  Being a mother is so incredibly rewarding.  

NICU mom, it's Mother's Day and I'm sure you are grateful to be able to walk in that role, but I know that being in the NICU during a holiday such as Mother's Day is not your desire today.  You would love to be able to hold you baby, and cuddle with him/her anytime your heart desires, but that's not the case.  Right now the most important thing is that your baby remains stable, strong, and continues to progress so that he/she can some day be in your arms at home.  I want to let you know that while you are feeling mixed emotions about this day, and wanting to just see the light at the end of the tunnel for your little one, I am praying for you both.  I pray that God would send His divine healing and wholeness in health to your sweet one.  I pray that the blood of Jesus Christ would saturate every organ, red & white blood cell, vein, tendon, bone, and ligament. I know that you are afraid of the worst happening.  I want to remind you that God will never leave or forsake you.  Know that Your Daddy-God doesn't want you to fear because He is with you and your little one every step of the way during this NICU journey and beyond.  He is your God and will strengthen you both, help you both, and hold you both up with His victorious right hand (Isaiah 41:10 NLT).

In addition, it's my hope that you're able to hold, love on, and cuddle you little one today.  I hope that you will take some time to celebrate your strength, courage, fight and resilient spirit as a NICU mom as well.  Allow family and friends to celebrate you-take you to brunch, lunch, dinner, the spa, to get  a mani/pedi, or take a walk in nature.  It's okay to take a moment to celebrate the life that you've created who will someday call you mom. You deserve some much needed self-care, pampering, and relaxation although I know that's very hard to do right now.

So, take a deep breath and have an enjoyable Mother's Day! My thoughts and prayers are with you today, and always!


Connect with My Predestined One:

1. Facebook, Instagram , & Twitter.
2. My Predestined One now has a private, faith-based support group for TTC & preemie moms.  If you'd like to get connected with other women who will encourage and pray for you in a safe, loving nonjudgmental space to help renew your hope and strengthen your faith on your journey. Email Contact@mypredestinedone.org to request to join. 
3. Also, stay tuned for our website launch and other big news coming soon!!!

Predestined for Miracles,
Tiffany Finley

To the Heartbroken Woman This Mother's Day

During my journey of TTC (Trying to Conceive) my first child, Mother's Day made me feel excluded and forgotten about as I struggled to get pregnant. I felt that my diagnosis of infertility left an arrow lingering over my head pointing down at me to remind me that my body has failed to do what is so easy and uncomplicated for other women. I felt like no one cared what I was experiencing as a woman struggling to achieve motherhood on one of the most celebrated holidays of the year.   I felt excluded, forgotten, and heartbroken.  Are you currently feeling this way as Mother's Day is quickly approaching? If so, I want to remind you that you are NOT forgotten...by God.  Additionally, I want to apologize in advance on behalf of your church, family, and friends who've forgotten to acknowledge your very real, hard, and difficult journey to motherhood on one of the hardest days of the year for a woman diagnosed as infertile.  I want to apologize in advance for those that will not be reaching out to you to offer a kind word of encouragement, or for the church that will pray for and celebrate all of the mothers in their congregation, but fail to acknowledge those that are struggling to conceive, suffered a miscarriage, or loss a baby.  I'm SO sorry. I'm sorry that your heart is breaking because you have yet to see a positive pregnancy test.

My heart breaks for you.  And, I long for you to be able to relish in the joy and happiness of having your baby in your arms some day soon. Not only do I want that for you, but your Daddy-God wants that for you as well. He desires to fulfill that longing of motherhood that rests in your heart.  And know, that he WILL fulfill it!  So let your heart be filled with confidence in God, confidence in His promise (word). Let you faith in God's ability to do what appears to be impossible for you be greater than the faith you've been putting into the thought of it never happening for you. I encourage you to "hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise (Hebrews 10:23 NLT)!"

Lastly, don't wait for anyone to acknowledge or celebrate you on Mother's Day.  Acknowledge and celebrate yourself and others around you who may be still waiting for the promise of motherhood to manifest, or may have conceived but lost their little one. It would be awesome to have someone in your life that reaches out and shows care, and concern for your journey, but you can choose to start the chain of celebrating other unyielding, brave, courageous, strong, persistent TTC Warriors like yourself that need a shout out, encouragement, hope, and acknowledgement this holiday.  Empower yourself and others around you in our fertility community on Sunday.  This way, you're choosing to acknowledge the struggle, but celebrate your successes and wins as a woman as well.


You're Predestined for Miracles,
Tiffany Finley

Private Support Group

Hi predestined & preemie moms! It's been a minute since I've posted. I've missed being on the blog. How are you guys??? Me? I'm doing BETTER!! The past few months have been emotional  for me. So, I needed to take a break, as I felt like I had NOTHING to give to encourage you all (just keeping it real). Yes, I get discouraged, emotional, angry, and isolate myself at times too. I'm not immuned to any of the aforementioned emotions. I'm human just like you, and need prayers, encouragement, support, and a community of women to connect with about my current struggles with TTC and preemie parenting as well.

With that being said, Holy Spirit has led me to create a PRIVATE support group for those like myself who need and would benefit from this kind of support from their fellow fertility-sisters and preemie mom-sisters. This is a space where we'd meet to receive live encouragement.

So, think about and answer these  question:

Would you like to be a part of a private Christian fertility support group where you can 1) help renew another sister's hope and strengthen her faith, while your hope and faith is being renewed and strengthen as well? 2) a support group where you cover one another in prayer, and grow together in Christ while trusting His will and perfect timing on your motherhood journey,  3) a private support group where you can receive live encouragement (via periscope app), connect, share joys, and frustrations with other women experiencing what you experience. I know that women in the TTC/fertility & preemie parent communities could really benefit from one anothers experiences, tests, trials and joys on our different journeys concerning motherhood. If you're interested in this and would like to connect and join please email me (MyPredestinedOne@gmail.com) regarding your interest along w/ your first and last name, and I'll provide you more details.


You're Predestined for a Miracle,
Tiffany Finley

Crystal’s Story: Beating the Odds of Premature Birth

***Crystal is a friend and beautiful spirit that I've had the pleasure of knowing for many months now! She is founder and visionary of Overcomers Anointed Outreach Ministry (Uniquely Made).  She has a heart for others with disability, both child and adult alike. She has overcome what doctors professed would destroy her-prematurity.  She was so kind to bless me personally by sharing her story, and accepting my request of featuring it here on the blog.  By reading about her beating the odds of premature birth, I hope that all of my preemie mom sisters are encouraged by her story, and gain some hope in God's ability to work miracles for your preemie while you're still in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and beyond your preemie's discharge, because we all know that you still have to deal with the affects of premature birth even AFTER discharge from the NICU.  

Crystal is also a fellow blogger at: Anointed2Write.wordpress.com where she shares christian/inspirational encouragement for your soul and heart. Feel free to head over and read, like, share and support after reading her amazing story!***


" I was the smallest baby to survive in Minnesota when I was born.” – Crystal R. 

Ezekiel 37:1- The hand of the LORD was upon me.

I was born in my mother’s 5th month of pregnancy, which in turn made me 4 months premature. I weighed 1 pound and 3 ounces at birth. After I was born I had a brain hemorrhage that almost took my life, but the doctors were able to get it under control. I had my first surgery being just hours old. The surgery was to close a valve in my little heart. I was supposed to be born in August but I came early.

I stayed in the hospital for the first four months of my life. While in the hospital my skin was so transparent that no one could hold me except the nurses and doctors that cared for me. My parents and family were not allowed to touch me because they could have peel off layers of skin which would have been very painful for me.

My eyes and ears were still fused to my head and my digestive system was not fully developed at the time. When I was finally able to go home I had a heart monitor attached to me so that my parents could watch to see how my heart was working.

I had no sound in my voice. When I cried no one knew unless they saw me with a sad face with tears in my eyes and down my little cheeks. When I was born the doctors thought I was not going to make it. They told my parents that they were going to put me on my mother’s chest and let my family and loved ones say their final good-byes, and then wait until I died.

After having gone through this hard and almost fatal experience, I have learned to overcome the way I walk and talk. From this obstacle I have also learned to accept my disability-mild cerebral palsy. It affects the way I walk and talk. From it I have left side paralysis, I’m half blind in my left eye, I walk with a limp, and I talk with a low-raspy voice.

Through all these obstacles I have learned to live life to the fullest, to not take anything for granted, and to cherish every special thing that happens to me in my life. Life to me is saying that I am worth something, because I fought and did not settle for death, but was determined and willing to fight to stay alive and live. I did not do this for myself, but for my family and loved ones that were praying and helping me survive by being there and caring for me. I can now say that I can overcome all things because on April 13, 1983 I overcame and beat the odds and lived.  I was the smallest baby to survive in Minnesota when I was born.


Blessings,
Crystal R. 

!!!PRAYER CALL!!!

Hello friends!  I'm so thrilled to announce that 'My Predestined One' will be having our very FIRST (surely not our last) prayer call for women and couples diagnosed with infertility and those women and couples who currently has a premature baby(ies)that need covering in prayer.   The Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart to begin a weekly prayer call for these two communities last year, so I'm being obedient!   I, myself, was diagnosed with PCOS, and struggled to conceive my former 25 weeker (now 3 year old) via FET (Frozen embryo transfer) in June 2012.  He was born at 25 weeks due to my incompetent cervix, bulging water bag, and 4 cm dilation.  Prior to conceiving my miracle of a son, I suffered two ectopic miscarriages.  So, I know first hand what it's like to desire motherhood so bad, to conceive and then have it taken from you.  I know first hand how after you've struggled for so long to conceive only to have that little one be born well before it was time.  You're so afraid and scared, and feeling so many other million emotions while your baby is fighting for their lives in the NICU.  You don't know what's going to happen with their health from one day to the next.  I remember.  I also recall during both of these journeys not having anyone that I could confide in, or any kind of spiritual support outside of my husband and some close friends, and relatives.  I had no one constantly pouring into my spirit and encouraging me to not give up, seek God, trust Him, have faith, etc.  

I know that's why God tugged at my heart on creating this prayer call for these two communities.  He wants His daughters to know that He's there, and to cast ALL  of your fears onto Him while you're TTC'ing, or while you're in the NICU with your preemie.  He wants us to look to Him for strength, comfort, peace, joy, hope, patience, and understanding during these difficult and uncertain times in our lives.  Because, how many of you know that the devil desires to steal our joy, peace, and hope leaving us hopeless, faithless, fearful, stressed, impatient along with every other emotion contrary to what God desires for us.  Thus, I'm going to walk in obedience to God, and do what He's instructed me to do.  I'm going to make Him famous, and allow Him to use me to redirect our spirit, soul, mind, and bodies back to him.  


Hence, join 'My Predestined One' every Thursday beginning February 4, 2016 at 12 PM for prayer as we cover our fertility & premature babies  in prayer to God, and watch Him perform miracles! Let's go to war in prayer over our predestined ones!

"I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
Matthew 18:19-20 NLT



I love you all!
Your predestined one is on the way!

Tiffany Finley

Consolation for Moments When You Have No Words to Pray

Romans 8:28The Message (MSG)

26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Good Day!  Are you feeling that you have no words to pray, or don't know what to pray sometimes during this journey of TTC'ing, or having a baby in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).  I totally understand, because I've been there as well.  As a matter of fact, before this new year I was in a place of feeling like I wanted to pray, but couldn't because I felt so discouraged.  I felt like God had forgotten about me, and wouldn't allow me to have our second child naturally as He's promised me.  I was just silent most days.  I would have thoughts of prayer, but barely anything would come out of my mouth.  My spirit knew what I was feeling, and trying to convey to God, but my mouth just couldn't form the words.  So, most days I would cry.  All I could say during those moments was "God I trust you."  Nothing more; nothing less.  Even though I was struggling to trust Him, I still had to, for my own sake, remind myself to trust Him by saying this aloud!  My fertility and preemie mom sisters: I know all too well what you're going through emotionally, and if you're a believer how some days it's easier to pray than others.  

My encouragement today is just simply this: when you're at a place and moment in your TTC journey, or NICU journey where you're feeling tired and no longer have strength to pray, or a desire to-just know that the Holy Spirit goes to God concerning you.  He knows ALL that you cannot put into words, and presents it to our Father.  There will be days when you feel that you're tired of praying, and can no longer utter a word to pray because you just don't know for what to pray. You don't even know what you truly feel at the moment. During those moments, sit quietly before Him, and say nothing.  Just sit and listen.  He'll whisper to your troubled heart what you need to hear.  But rest at His feet, listen, and allow the Holy Spirit to intercede to the Father on your behalf.  Romans 8:26-28 MSG, tells us that the Holy Spirit does our praying IN and FOR us-making prayers out of our aching groans, and knows our pregnant condition.  "Pregnant condition" means something different in the natural and spiritual.  From a natural perspective it is whatever you're currently dealing with as it relates to your fertility: unexplained infertility, secondary infertility, miscarriage, low ovarian reserve, PCOS.  From a spiritual perspective it is where we are spiritually-spiritually barren, and unfruitful, or hurting.

Therefore, take comfort in knowing that the Holy Spirit will keep us present before God during our prayer less times. Be sure and confident that every detail of our lives, including TTC struggles and prematurity of birth struggles, comes as no surprise to Him.  He will work all of what you're going through out for your good, although you may not see how during this difficult time. Just trust your Daddy (heavenly Father).  He cares, knows, and is working on your situation.  Sisters, don't believer the lie from the enemy (satan) that says, "God doesn't care," "God is punishing me."  That's so far from His nature, and the truth of who He is!  He's a God that says, "Be fruitful, and multiply," "I give the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother," that's what God is saying about you.  

I love you all!
I'm praying for you!

Tiffany Finley

What I’ve Learned from Hannah’s Story

I recently read Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel chapters 1 and 2, and God revealed to me that I don’t need more faith, but a STRONGER faith in Him. Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) states that “faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”  And, I must admit, at times I’m not so confident in God’s ability to completely heal me of infertility, and be able to conceive my second predestined miracle (baby) naturally. In true transparency- I have moments where my faith is weaken by things that I see, and experience in the natural.  So, I have to be intentional about feeding and strengthening my faith with the word of God; hence, my most recent reading of Hannah’s story.  You see, Hannah was one of the two wives to Elkanah.  He also had a wife named Peninnah.  Peninnah had children with Elkanah, while Hannah was childless.  Penninah would provoke Hannah to tears.  In other words, she would anger and negatively stir up Hannah’s emotions because she was infertile/barren.  Peninnah would constantly remind Hannah of what her body couldn’t do and of her childlessness, because she had children. 

Don’t we too experience this same thing in our lives?  We’re trying to believe God for healing, to conceive, for a healthy baby to be discharged and brought home from the NICU, but Peninnah, “aka”: infertility, pcos, blocked fallopian tubes, endometriosis, prematurity etcetera, is staring us in our face and constantly reminding us of our condition, our diagnosis, and our situation.  However, during those times we have to be like Hannah.  She went to God; to be in His presence, and prayed.  She talked to God about her deepest longing for a child, specifically a son.  She was in great anguish-distress, grief, heartache, and sorrow.  Hannah was heartbroken because she was in a low place spiritually and naturally-spiritually because she felt God had forgotten about her, and naturally because during that time to not be a mother was frowned upon.  So, Hannah went to the temple and sat at the feet of God, and prayed.  She poured her soul out to God in prayer.  She prayed to God in FAITH, and asked Him for not just a child, but a son who she would vow to give back to Him to be His servant.  1 Samuel 1: 11 says, “she made a vow: “O Lord of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a nazirite until the day of his death.  He shall not drink neither wine nor intoxicants, and no razor shall touch his head.”

After praying silently and crying out to God, Hannah got up, ate food with her husband Elkanah, and was no longer sad.  I’m sure that at this point, Hannah felt lighter, confident, and reassured in her spirit and in the God that she poured out to in prayer.  Sisters, she was no longer sad because she made an exchange.  She exchanged her hopelessness, sadness, shame, anger, hurt, and barrenness for FAITH!  She made a decision to leave it all at the feet of God, and let her faith rise.  She believed what she prayed for would come to pass-she would have a male child.  She was just that confident in God, thus in my mind silencing Peninnah’s voice that had been in her ear torturing her all those years.  Fertility sisters, we have to do the same.  We have to take our broken hearts and spirits, present them to God in prayer, and have faith that he’s going to bless our womb with our predestined one (baby)!  Preemie sisters, we have to go to Him in prayer about your preemie’s condition while in the NICU and beyond.  Pour out to Him your fears, worries, needs, doubts, and then let Him fill you with strength and faith like only He can give. We have to silence the Peninnah (pessimistic voice of infertility and prematurity).  Hannah prayed, (1 Samuel chapter 2), and during her prayer it was as if she was reminding herself of who her great God was, as stated in 1 Samuel 2:2- “ there is no Holy One like the Lord, no one beside you, there is no Rock like our God.”  She prayed a prayer that reminded herself of God’s nature, and who He truly is.  We have to do the same by going to Him, and praying in such a way that reminds our spirit of who God is…that reminds our spirit of what He’s already done in our lives!

Needless to say, God answered Hannah’s prayer (1 Samuel 1: 27-28).  She had a son and named him Samuel meaning “asked or heard of God.” She gave him back to God as she’d vowed.  And get THIS, not only did she have Samuel, but she went on to later have 3 more sons, and 2 daughters!  God is such a God of abundant blessings! He gave her more children; more than what she asked for, or even expected. 

So, here’s my question for us:

Infertility and prematurity of birth is our Peninnah that’s angering us, and reminding us of what we don’t have and telling us that we won’t be a mother, or that our baby won’t make it home from the NICU.  How will you silence that pessimistic voice of Penninah?  How will you silence her?

I’ll tell you: FAITH, AND PRAYER!!!

Hannah went to war and fought through prayer and had faith that her prayers were not only heard, but that God would answer.  She walked away with so much faith that she finished her praying, and went to get something to eat.  If that doesn’t show confidence in God! She was unbothered at that point!

Therefore, here is my takeaway from Hannah’s story:

1)      Don’t listen to the voice of pessimistic Peninnah (infertility/ prematurity)! It may try to provoke you, depress you, make you bitter, and angry, but DON’T listen.

2)      Do like Hannah and cry out to God! Pour out our soul (mind, will, & emotions) to Him.  Remind yourself of who God is during your prayer time.

3)      Believe and have faith that what you are praying and asking for He’ll do!

4)      After praying, no longer be sad, but be GODFIDENT (God confident)!

5)      Repeat as needed!

I love you all!

I’m praying for you!

Tiffany Finley